The 'C' Word

FRIENDS!!!

Hi I'm back already. I just had to get some thoughts out

Re: Caitlyn…and all the fuss/publicity

Firstly I'm thankful that MOST of the buzz about

Her is positive. THAT is what will make it

Just a little easier for Average Joe & Josephine 

To go through their own transitions, to

Come out to parents & friends who may be in the dark

(Ages) about such things

But…of course the negative buzz is SO grievous

And comes from such a place of ignorance & privileged intolerance

(I'm talking to you, Mike Huckabee. Do you know

What would've happened to ANYONE from

Your generation coming out as Trans?

Let's just say there would've been a lot of

Violence, bruising & bloodiness before you

Ever made it to the girls' showers…)

BUT…

I want to revisit a topic I used to rage against

When I had a blog way back

On MySpace (oh My!)

And that is the topic of infertility & the

"Artificial" means of achieving it

That had its heyday from the late '90s

Til Jan 26, 2009--when a woman called 

OCTOMOM

Gave birth to…I don't know…8..10…babies

At once and who already had several young children

To take care of

I was appalled by this 'trend'

I spoke up loudly against it and probably

Earned some enemies because my exact

Thoughts on the matter were: If you can't

Make a baby the natural way, that is God's way

Of telling you "Do Not Breed!!!"

And I referenced God because

Most of the folks who were engaging in this

"Over-breeding" trend were religious

And they would call their litters of children

'MIRACLES!'

And downplay the science that allowed those

Children to exist

And that pissed me off

I was very much of the mind that until

The foster system in this country and

Orphanages around the world were

Free & clear of unwanted children,

Then no new humans need to be

"Created"

Of course the recession hit--and

We witnessed the torment of John & Kate Gosselin

And Ms. Octomom as they tried to support

And manage and discipline and dress and feed

Their ridiculous amounts of offspring

It wasn't pretty

And people quickly came to their senses

Regarding the number of children they

Wanted to bring into the world

Advances in endocrinology made

Singular and twin births more possible than

Say, octuple births…

The overbreeding trend normalized

But around the same time as the

Breeders were booming, a young "woman"

Named Chastity Bono decided to

Become Chaz--

(w/ much less fanfare than Bruce becoming Caitlyn)--

And becoming Chaz required the same

Sorts of endocrinological magic that

Making in vitro babies required

And I became entangled in an

Ethical dilemma, because…

I had struggled with the very same issue

That made Chaz want to become

Himself:

Gender Dysphoria

I always had it

I still do

I was told I would have to live with it

Silently, selflessly, gladly, invisibly

Period

The end

And I learned to live with it

Not always silently or invisibly

And definitely not gladly, but

I tried and tried and contorted myself

Inside & out

To find reasons to be happy in the

Gender I was assigned at birth

I never felt entitled to turn to science

For help

I didn't even realize I could turn to

Science…until I saw Chaz's

Transformation--

And it was quite a transformation--

But I felt almost as opposed

To changing one's gender with

Hormones as I did to women shooting up

Hormones to become more fertile

I had convinced myself that I was

Put here on Earth in a female body

Because I had something to learn from being female

That perhaps I was some fucked up rapist

Or child molester in a previous life

And as much as I felt like I should've been

Born male

I was absolutely forbidden from

Entertaining that possibility--

I was to serve my sentence here

As Fate had prescribed--as an unhappy

And humiliated female

[Who was grateful to be healthy

But was still unhappy & humiliated]

When I saw Chaz become,

I thought, 'Oh he can do this because

He has money, notoriety, a showbiz name'

A regular dude-girl like me cannot do that

Plus…

If I didn't believe it was okay for

People to make babies in any way

Except the natural way, how could I

Condone gender reassignment?

I tousled with my angels & demons

On this issue

I started doing non-hormonal things

In my own home

Like cutting my hair & dressing up

In masculine attire

Then I saw more & more 

Transgender people appearing on 

Big Media platforms like Oprah!

And Dr. Phil.

I started to reconsider my beliefs

About many things

About what was possible in this world…

Look how LONG I have

Rambled on & on again…!!!

The point I am making (mostly for

My own eyes to see)

Is how far I have had to come 

To accept something once so controversial

I have Gender Dysphoria & it

Took me a goddamn long time to wrap

My head around the fact that it was

OkAY

To seek relief from feeling

That horrific discomfort!

So of course it has taken the

General (non-dysphoric) Public

A little longer to wrap its big old

Planet-head around the whole concept

But it hasn't taken AS LONG

As I thought it might

Maybe the world is more accepting

Than I imagined

But maybe it's really because of people like

Chaz, and Jaz, and Isis*, and Kristin

And Ryland and Caitlyn and Janet and

Laverne and Aidan….etc…etc…etc…

Who are a lot braver than I could ever be

And just SHOWED the world how

OKAY 

It really is…

SO…if you've read this far & are all fired up &

Inspired by people being whoever they want

To be,

I just want to keep it real by reminding you all

That there was a big oil spill off the coast of California

This week

And

ISIS** is taking root on American soil as we speak

Good Day

*Isis, not ISIS

**ISIS, not Isis

Also, you can always go here for more of my (concise) thoughts on gender:

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/vindicationdonkeystar