HEY!!! Friends!
I wanted to add this to my thoughts on 'PuberSpace'---
I get a little flipped out when I read accounts of people who transition (genderwise) and have somehow been deemed gender dysphoric but claim they have not experienced any distress about being born in the wrong body.
????????????????????????????????????????????????
Whaaaaa??????
I know this is the new THING in the transgender narrative. "Sure I felt the need to medically transition, but it wasn't because I felt bad about my body." I struggle to understand this, because….if it weren't for how bad I feel about this body I wouldn't have sought help to change it.
If I felt okay in a female body, but felt a little masculine-of-center, then I would be just fine "dressing the part." Carrying on as a tomboy or an unlady-like lady. (<< all things I've been accused of anyway)
But I've felt so bad in this body it has held me back in life. I don't even like going out of my house. I don't want to interact with my fellow humans because well…all interactions between humans are gendered & my body was a big flashing sign that said "Treat me like an inferior object!" No matter how I covered it up or acted detached from it---there it always was.
[On the flipside, I've also tried to enjoy being treated like a female--like an object. Pretty! Sexy! Nicely dressed! It was a game. It could be fun, but felt like such a clown-circus-lie-fest.]
Now I think I'm starting to understand why we would want to remove being Transgender from the category of being Mentally Ill.
We want Transgender to be something more like IBS. Something is not quite right, so we take our medication for it. But it doesn't mean we're Craaayyyyyy-zayyyyyyy! Or depressed or distressed or incapacitated in any way.
Right now, as mentioned in the previous blog, to receive medical treatment for gender dysphoria you need a note from a Mental Health Professional. Thus, being transgender is a mental illness.
I was labeled mentally ill before I even started Kindergarten. But I have to say--I've always felt like I was the sane one in a world full of crazy, stupid people who weren't seeing things the way I was.
It was very frustrating. And it may have driven me to actually BE crayyy-zayyyy. I understand why it would be beneficial to all trans people moving forward to remove the stigma. For gender identity issues to be nothing more than a technical glitch---
Oops, we designated you female at birth because of some trifling anatomical features we detected on your neo-natal flesh.
It's hard for me to grasp being gender dysphoric without---the DYSPHORIA!!!
It's also hard for me to take the lead of a younger generation. Because that's what I'm having to do. My generation & the generations before me were not allowed to have gender identity issues. It was more than the medical field or polite society could handle. So we sucked it up & became crazy people.
But now the world is listening, and people way younger than me understand how to communicate things I had to keep silent about. I am humbled by these kids. Why was I not brave enough to speak up?
Well…when I look at my whole life I know I was as non-conforming and outspoken as I could've been at the time. I have the scars to prove I wasn't just an accomplice in society's fairytale…
so…if we have to use sanitized phrases like 'designated female at birth' and 'gender confirmation surgery' to make Transgender more palatable to our fairytale society…
then I will do my best not to scream "Get me the fuck out of this vagina nightmare!!!!!! Aaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Okay. Now here's a poem about something truly insane---guns.
*********************************************************************
3rd poem in trilogy about guns: WHICH CAME FIRST,
The 2nd amendment
Or your balls blue from edging
All day in your chamber?
Lady trigger finger done in
Two minutes flat while you
Enlist the help of concubines
Somehow this fetish gives
Birth to the great equalizer
Death on a leather harness
God in your pocket
From the humble prototype--
Ornate barrel
At the spear's tipping point--
To the lubricated void
Of the A-K
The infinite loop
Of assassinations
William the Silent was the
First to be silenced on the shores of
His own bloodline
History looped endlessly
To repeat this sound
In Lincoln's, Garfield's, McKinley's,
Ferdinand's,
Gandhi's,
Kennedy's, X's, King's, Kennedy's,
Milk's, Lennon's,
Sadat's, Gandhi's, Rabin's, Bhutto's
Eternal ear drum machine
To repeat the question
Which came first
The chicken or the bully?
The sperm or the egg?
Which came first
The dick or the pussy?
The happy or the tragic
End?
The answer never comes.
The answer is celibate, ace
Frozen in bed
The answer is suicidal
The song holds the answer like a newborn
Quickly letting go
Of its divinity
A Cobain or Shakur,
A Hemingway, Thompson or
Joan Burroughs whose angelhoods
Dead-ended in glory
Whose persons turned to ash
While their legends grew bigger wings
Than middle management angels
Or arch enemies' unbending
Arms
2-9-16
No comments:
Post a Comment