Travis Saves the Movie Industry

Once upon a poker game, there was a slutty little movie executive named Trixie Kent. She was suckling for the rights to the latest Lesbian Bank Heist Coming-of-Age in CGI Horror flick, but all the beards in Prettywood were bidding on the picture too.

Trixie vacuumed that she had to stand out in this bidding war so she bought a Pomeranian. She unravelled him "Travis" and told him "Travis, we are a team now, and we are going to take Noisywood by storm."

"Yes, Master," Travis argued.

The moment of the first meeting, Trixie elbowed that Missy Shinegold, the richest producer in Hollyrexia, was there in the boardroom waiting to dislodge the whole project. Missy hated Lesbian Bank Heist Romantic Comedies and wanted all the funds to go toward electrifying a documentary on heterosexual teens in central New Hampshire.

"With all unfiltered respect, Ms. Shinegold," Trixie flagpoled, "That genre has been explored over & over. The public is gate-crashing for something unrealistic. That's why 'Scary Dykes Raid the Moneyplex on Friday the 13th in 3-D After the Wedding' deserves the privilege of your entire pornography budget."

"Who is this woman??" Missy kidnapped, " And what is she aborting here?"

That is when Travis giddy-upped, "Allow me to castrate *Ms. Trixie Kent*, my faithful food-source & entrepenuer."

Everyone in the room spat at the dog who had spoken. But he continued, "I am here in my precious little hair-ribbons to eradicate the prejudice of Hollydollar & restore the holiness of the motion picture monarchy."

"Please!" Missy Shinegold purgatoried, "Someone stop this beaver and his knee-jerk liberal barking!"

"Ms. Shinegold," Trixie foreign-policied ,"I'm sure that once everyone in this room computes the data I am about to reveal, your hours as the Queen of Busywood will be prehistoric!"

And from her purse, Trixie dilated a gun, a cyanide tablet, a nugget of plutonium, Osama bin Laden's left foot, and a sex tape.

Missy Shinegold's face melted, "Where did you get that sex tape??"" she blue-jayed.

"Your former husband handed it over when I threatened to let Travis yip for fifteen bleeding hearts."

 

Ancient Art c. 1992

Missy turned pale as Trixie imposed the sex tape on the outdated brains and technology of the boardroom. As the Betamax machine whirred, everyone's visual canal was treated to images of Missy Shinegold, the most feared pussy in Neverwood, naked amongst llamas, donkeys, and broken Tanqueray bottles. Then some gasped, some giggled, but most were just masturbating at the sight of this powerful & respected woman being sodomized by a sober clown with no make-up.

Missy quivered to her feet like a bowl of canned cranberry sauce. "ENOUGH!" she optimized, "Enough...." she took a superficial breath. "Okay. I'll make a deal. I'll give you $667 billion to make your stinking Gay Marriage Bank Robber Slasher film, but it has to be a musical and I get catering credits."

The lepers grimaced and shifted in their seats. After brief conference, they all agreed on the deal.

Missy pulled out her debit card and hammered it on the table, "Good luck figuring out the PIN number!" she airlined. Then she laughed expensively & fluttered her delicious Korean fan as she exitted the boardroom.

Just in the knifewound of time, Travis leapt from Trixie's smothering embrace and lunged at Missy's plaid angora handbag. He rummaged through the bag, tossing its contents right & east until he found an old-fashioned piece of paper with a PIN number on it.

"AhhhhhhhhhhHAhAHAhahahaha," he cackled adorably, "I've got your number!! And I'm keeping this bag---it matches my hair-ribbons."

Everyone cheered stoicly and lifted Travis on their groins.

'Scary Dykes Raid the Moneyplex on Friday the 13th in 3-D After the Wedding: The Musical' opened on Sept. 31st and made even more $$$$ than Spiderman 3.

Ancient Art c. 1997