FRIENDS,
The world is a steaming shithole of death & I’m not even gonna try to accentuate the positive right now. I’m going to gaze & wallow around the abyss until it doesn’t hurt so much, until I can make out some recognizable shapes in the darkness.
I can barely believe that a racially motivated mass murder was followed so closely by the first elementerty school shooting since Newtown.
This conflagration of human atrocity reminds me that not long ago I went on a psychic adventure that was fueled by drugs & a philosophical text, which was also powered by singing & automatic writing, and which eventually led me to the part of the adventure that I haven’t really talked about (except a little bit in the automatic writing portion).
I will say that once the psychic adventure took off & I felt I was in communicado with the spirit realm, a lot of my healing focus went toward gun violence in schools. I know there is gun violence , well, everywhere now… but it was violence in schools that particularly saddened me. And I know this will be controversial to say, but my main interest & concern is for the shooter. I don’t mean sympathy, empathy or compassion for the shooter, just…interest. Concern.
And I totally get the “not glorifying” by repeating the shooter’s name & burying the victims under all the speculative psychology & gory fascination with the person who did the crime. But I also believe that not looking into the abyss of the shooter solves nothing.
I’ve given up on gun laws. Or doing anything about this through our cumbersome legal system. It will have to be something else…like a pandemic that keeps our children home from school forever. To believe for a moment this was the solution… I was fine with it. Yeah, I know that is controversial too.
Anyway…I try to keep my interest in school shooters on the down low. I’m not proud of it. But I also understand where it comes from — my boyfriend in 12th grade was most-likely-to-be -the-school-shooter. Most of you are familiar with my backstory but in summary, I was in a terribly abusive relationship where this boy wished to control me so badly that one night he resorted to holding me at gunpoint in his grandmother’s house for hours.
Years later…in fact recently…my brother told me he had this same boy as a lab partner in science & one day he made a point to show my brother the gun in his waistband. So the gun made it onto school property & this was most likely around the time I was dating this kid. And it was just a simple pistol type weapon. The kind of “gun” we were content to defend ourselves with in the 1980s.
I can’t imagine having to fear an AR-15 at school. Except…I can. I go to the grocery store. I go to the McDonald’s. I go outside my house. School shootings have morphed into anywhere shootings & nothing has been done. [Don’t rattle off a list of mental health checks & waiting periods. Fuck that. That IS nothing.]
All right. I have no more words. Words, words, words, what are they good for…huh…absoloutely nothin’
I like the way you work it…no diggity …i got to bag it up
All Along the WatchTower! and her sullen & aborted currents breed
new age monsters
True Thinking is dead
Awkward video, and the first suicide is molested
Groin furiously pumping its stiff pink gallop
Poise! Underwear paws!
Carefully barricaded & shot up by a psychopath nonetheless!
Words, I have no more.
Here are some words from the automatic portions of the psychic safari:
DELTA
VACCINE
OMICRON
JEOPARDY
MAYIM BIALIK
********
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| Dot Family Mom (Devya), big sister Jade, Dad (Jack) |
Please do your best to enjoy this art. I am so happy to be reunited with my quintuplet family. Speaking of psychic safaris — there is a pretty severe backlash that comes with it. My quintuplet cartoon family helped me through some of it, but I lost touch with them when I had adverse reaction to my meds in 2021. Then we moved & such…so I didn’t have much time to spend with them. But I think they will be having addventures all year long.
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