OH HELLO FRIENDS,
It’s that time again—time to check in at the Octopus Front Desk Diary to let you know how I’m surviving the current era.
By staying really really busy, that’s for sure! You all know I love my solitude & my downtime (and I still do of course) but I feel compelled to stay connected, aware & active these days. So that’s what I (& Moonface) have been doing. We get out more. We’re rerouting our neural pathways to be more engaged with an external world we’ve shunned for over a decade.
It’s hard work, but it needs to be done.
Also been working hard on creative projects like the long-awaited
*****SHELTER CAT & TRUST FUND BABY**********
Friends, I have an exciting announcement: I’ve finished pencilling the first episode of SC & TFB! And pardon me if I say—it’s ALL RIGHT. I do comics the old fashioned way—pencil first, inks & colors later. None of this electronic shit where the computer helps you draw & color your shit. I don’t even understand that. And no disrespect to those who do their comics that way…I just…don’t understand.
It doesn’t mean I don’t admire people whose style differs from mine—quite the contrary. But I like the act of story-building panel by panel. Figuring out which actions & dialogues will go together, what shape the panels will take, how it will all flow. I’ve been “insulted” many times by people who consider themselves to be FINE artists—“your art is JUST cartoony stuff.”
And to them I say—there’s more to comic illustration than just doodling stick figures. But I understand that their haughtiness comes from…not understanding.
Anyway… I’m not even a good illustrator, but I enjoy doing it (sort of) and it adds color & pizzazz to this otherwise grey & peach blog.
******MY TECHNOLOGY IS DEADNAMING ME*********
Friends, last year I spent money and time filling out stacks and stacks of paperwork & then I entered a courtroom and stood before a judge and pleaded to have my name changed,
and the judge granted me that wish. And I was happy & I announced it on Facebook & everyone hit LIKE and all was well.
But then, friends, my computer started asking me to update its operating system. Please, it said, update me soon or things might start going wrong. And I ignored my computer’s requests because, honestly, it seemed to be working fine. But then it started threatening me—if you don’t update me I will no longer “support your applications.”
And my computer even crashed a few times because I didn’t answer its pleas for an update. I hate updating my computer because “updates” are usually “downgrades.” They fuck everything up and I have to go in & relearn all the shit I took so long to learn in the first place.
So one of my New Years resolutions was to update my computer. It was a big deal because I hadn’t done it in 5 years & I had to do some intermediate updates & I was on the phone with tech support for several hours. Which I hate. Phones, technology, talking to strangers, yuck.
But I got it done. With only minor hiccups [boy do I hate what Apple has done with their Photos!!]
The only thing is—now all my “communications” are blatantly, loudly marked & monogrammed with my DEAD name!!
All my emails & FB comments & perhaps even somewhere in this blog my computer is deadnaming me so disrespectfully.
That atrocious name I wore like a slutty Halloween costume for the first 45 years of my life has risen from the dead! And I don’t know why, because all my email & FB settings are on my new, LEGAL name.
That means it is embedded somewhere deep inside my technology and I will have to coax it out and stab it in the heart. I’m afraid this is going to be another “dangerous process’ like upgrading. I’ve already looked into how to do it & it’s one of those things that risks destroying all your files, or at least your access to them.
***************EPIC OR NOT??**********
Friends, I was actually going to share my latest long-winded verbose unconcise non-economic poem with you, but I’ve gone on & on about comics & technology downgrades
SO…I’m deciding…right now…out loud, on the page…do i want to share the poem today? Because next time I’m sharing comics…
So, yes, POEM TODAY!! You’re welcome…
First though, I have to bring up this one thing. It’s really important so pay close attention:
FLANNEL, people, IT’S NOT JUST FOR LESBIANS.
In fact, most of the lesbians I know wear T-shirts and cargo shorts. OR long, flowy dresses (yeah, lots of lesbians are feminine). Or tank tops. Lots of tank tops. But not a lot of flannel.
HELL & DAMNATION & SULFUR FUMES & BRIMSTONE & TREACLE! Kurt Cobain didn’t even wear much flannel. He wore fuzzy cardigans & striped T’s.
But me, I’ve been grunge since 1989 and I’m not going to change my comfort-first flannel-flying ways just because of this persistent Lez-Lez Bean stereotype I keep hearing about. Shut up and look around you—
—even lumberjacks don’t wear flannel anymore. There’s nothing to stereotype here, move along.
And in case you’re wondering my flannel affinity came from being a homeless drunk person. Flannel was my couch-to-day look, my sleepless night uniform, my hangover woobie, my outdoor pajamas. Nothing less.
Haha! i’m glad I got to rant about that. Now here’s a poem as long as The Iliad that you will skim over for 2 minutes but never read all the way through, then reread to make sure you got it all…
|13 mos on T|
This File Is Currently Empty, all wispy & appropriate
Would I advise any species to trace
Its anger back to its origins? Octopus, jellyfish,
Seahorse in prickly skin?
It's not for the feint invertebrate
The Social Networking Sickness of 2014
Tallest wave of sensitive geniuses under the spell of internet sorcery
There will be many more ’15 ’16 ’17
Profane & volcane! The big Facebook serpent quo
All the harlequin pretext covering
A Litany of Tentacles—
2. The Government
8. The Higher Powers
And now 9. The New World Order
All hints of 33rd degree masonry once leaking through
The seams of architecture now smeared with stucco, Chinese drywall approved by Trumpo
I am the most special spectral agent forced to spy on our own hot dog flavored corpses
I vote for your sainthood w/ a boogery finger swiping right
Artificial lifeline swooping too perfectly
Over radial artery—that's how saints get elected!
St. President please polish the whole internet w/ Q-tips before proceeding to friend me on Birdbook because friend is not a verb it's an onamotapoeia --the sound of a lone microbe radicalizing—tweet
Is it safe to have everyone's mind wandering all over the sky?
Who's the real Army of Me—
You, the bulbous many-headed?
The tongue wagging the crowd
Through rumored cattle chutes?
Or the Me you're wagging about?
Tom Robbins said we humans were invented by water as a means of transportation
And as noble as that sounds, I believe we’re actually some kind of data storage unit
Each of us a drone here to collect our lifetime of data &
Return it to the great base in the cosmos
The great meme generator of our time
I think I just plagiarized a bumper sticker
My mother's conditional love lasted til I was 3, my doctor died after he touched me twice (appropriately) Knocked out by
My father before I was one
In her asphyxiating suitcase
So I'll branch out through
Black holes and
Cradle the old lady
Like she's a fresh stardust baby
Dorian Grey days crayoned despondent male
Alternating happy sad female tear-years
If boys don't cry neither do mermaids, dragons Pokemon & whales
If girls cry then senators astronauts bounty hunters & trolls do too
Never suspecting the other side's green grass was toxic mold
Alone in our human/ant colony’s war/miasma crooked line dance icy whirlpool scorching debriscape Robot Tea Room
It's too sunny out today We're leaving rainy season & entering dry, slanted sun season
An ideal spot for a metaphysical reunion
7 of Swords a journey by land?
Exhibitionist Culture? The Foreseeable Culture Act of 2037.
Geranium Radio Party
Finite Digest Levity's Rainbow Uriah's Crib
Does Sophie dream of electric twins?
Unfair in height, five-foot-one
Gun fart, intrusive muse
Skeletons in the closet getting ready for PRIDE
When Amanda Palmer says "You have a dick,
You always win" we know the 4th wave of feminism
Has crashed upon a glass shoreline & imploded
Into all the shards that break us & reshape us
Been there, done better than the ones who never came back
A chain is only as long as a dog's ego
Misery loves Atari
the cable company
The posture concave, shoulders parachuting in, head down legs strutting in vain, dragging your heart behind like a bag of blood
Imprints don't just disappear
Scary concrete blockwork
Stare them down w/ your opioid coping sensors
You work hard to ignore them
But that first default moment in the morning?
How fast can you chant, caffeinate, network them away?
Incomplete failure…(excited phosphor dots) Yap Co copay procaine
Product of iatrogenic labeling —label scars more than the thing it describes—
Opposite of bandAid covering bullethole
My feminine IQ
Wild from tears
A jellyfish memory outlined
Whiskers of DNA--these are my people
But they are the next wave--better at being me
Than I ever was
The planet's collective endocrine system
Finally realizes the perils of overpopulation
More & more young people embracing
My old world androgyny; asex, anti-natalist views
Catching on w/ the new Nationalists
But I want to save the big Earthy testicle not the sticky white human race
Never go to Walmart in January — the most depressing coordinates on the time-space continuum
Why would I from my ivory tooth-like tower?
The world is so unmysterious now
Not just standing naked before us, but spreading
Stunt poetry in action
Bone bunny Man village
Desperate Living Theme Song
Empty zen French dressing?
I love these words for I am their God. Bedlambic pentameter!
Wholesome helpmate, infernal bang theorist
Crack the window w/ my head
If I make it out of the bathroom alive
I promise to piss on the moon
Used to be we spoke up for what we believed
And the gov't would visit things like AIDS and 9/11 upon us
But now that AIDS & 9/11 have happened
Who will dare speak out?
This is what the Illuminazi wanted
33rd degree burn victims Skin canker and a bold chess movie plot
Insert the demagogue dialogue & watch the social experiment
Backfire--it's time to start erasing history by installing new code into the Hardware of familial Zillennials
1 generation gone since 9/11 and all memory has been sanitized by
Angelic heroic patriotic jingo lingo jumble jargon word pardon
You left me alone w/ all that country music!!!
Unfurl your phantom plans!
Holy traffucking! Paranoid MayDay Rave!
Guns are black magic just as much as gibberish is
Vowels are the true music of speech
Verbs are the music of poetry
I use words like numbers, doorless frames
I have a blog because I don't have a talk show
We’ve cut the Humanities
In favor of machinities
And the purple artichoke, impaled
On all the pointed buttery details
We won't tell ourselves, a lame dick joke now
Without blazing hard-on verdict, without sudden wet-fingered synthesis
Senatized counter-attack, playgroundian Intelligence
Hobbies: writing, believing conspiracy theories, reading books, ice skating, doing a radio show, worrying about the karmic price of words sent out over the airwaves Surely not as heavy as this ink Or as instant as a full frontal automatic FB assault
(curiosity made the cat vid go viral)
Millions of meek Donalds sold
Virgin uncooked meat
A needle plunges &
Strikes the sidewalk's vein
A lark beneath
The mask of ether
Cries like a streaky pane
She walks onstage
Like a glaze
Did you make it? Are you okay?
Well, I’m going to see if I can still post pictures of old art from my new Photo system. Next time I’ll have new art, if I can figure out how to post that…
I love you fuckers.