Tuesday, March 21, 2017

REVENGE OF EGGKIND

OH HELLO FRIENDS!!!

How are you? 
I am feeling much better, thanks.

I’ll tell you all that I’m much better at handling the noise-of-the-world than I was before.

But the world has become noisy in a different way.

It’s a visual noise, a spider-eye lens crudely smeared w/ Vaseline.

For a moment, following Trump’s teleprompted speech which prompted such praise from the likes of the enemy-media, and which was followed by the publicity tour of one folksy little war criminal named George W Bush…

I felt like I was back in that dystopian world I entered as a sentient toddler—

an ugly place. 

I let fear and anger build up, and because I have no zippers in my skin it had nowhere to go. It burned like a 4th degree mushroom cloud, obscuring all libido, consuming all creative resources…



So I sought some spiritual counsel. I won’t go into detail, because goddammit, that’s private. But I got good news.

I’ve been wondering and planning and strategizing about what I can do to help the vulnerable demos I see losing support & protection all around me. And I finally have a plan of action [that is also private]. 

But the good news is—I don’t really have to do much!! I’ve already done the hard work—and just as I suspected, the work I did was on such a deep level it looked to all of you like I was doing NOTHING. And just as I suspected, I was …doing A LOT.

Aside from the one action I’ve chosen to do, I’ve been counseled to just stay in my cozy Pisces bubble & use words & pictures to activate others; to document the shitstorm as our systems come crashing…

…oh, that’s another thing. We are on the brink of systemic collapse. And this neo-nazi formation may be the catalyst, may be the first domino flicked, but it is not the end result. We are fully cruising in the Aquarian Age and headed for that promised utopian society where things actually make sense. Where class systems have been replaced by social altruism…

…and things are as EQUAL as they can be on a planet of BILLIONS…

But the bad news is—it won’t happen in our lifetime. It will be a bit of a mess until we get it figured out and it will be the social and civil structures that take the longest to phase out. 



I know I’m supposed to be examining how I failed the poor white uneducated population of this country by educating myself and embracing scientific advances and valuing people over profit…

…but it’s not my job to empathize with them and wonder what I did wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong. And my only job is to keep creating the wold I would like to live in. That’s what most of us do anyway, without putting too much thought into it. That is another thing that’s changing…

…people are living with more mindfulness & insight. Which sounds kind of …artificial. But we are creating a new way of being, of communicating with each other. We have way more information at our finger tips and we’ve been observing our human behaviour online as we’ve never been able to observe ourselves before. We know ourselves well enough to become an actual Collective of consciousness.

That both excites & scares me, for I’m an older model humanoid who doesn’t necessarily want to mindmeld w/ your precious grandchildren. But I’m willing to try it if that’s what we’re doing…

…mostly I’ll just write about it though…


SO YEAH. I’m feeling better—not all the way good, but far from bad. MY LIFE, as always, is great. I work hard, I play hard, I still believe in the power of the Humanities to get us through the darkness.

But what do i know, I’m just a tranny pervert who pees in a cup in my car because I’m afraid I might hurt your feelings if I use the public restroom. Or that you might kill me.




*******************************WRITING UPDATE

Contrary to what youre thinking, I do not have writer’s block. I’ve been submitting lots of work. Still getting mostly rejections, but those rejections are coming with more constructive feedback, more compliments from editorial staff, even for my long rambling coma-inducing opera-poems.

I’m so excited that poetry is enjoying a moment in the spotlight. A pretty long moment, too. I always dreamed of being a part of a poetry revolution. I was waiting many years as a lonely poet on the internet—asking Where all the poets is?  

And suddenly there they all were! So many of them, so very, very many! And I read dozens of poems everyday from all around the world. Dozens. Some brilliant, some dull as dry turds. 

But I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to read so many minds in this particular format.

I’ll be sharing more poetry, streams of consciousness, and ART here in the Octopus Diary. Soon, and more frequently. I just had to be serious for a moment. I’m going to try to be more serious, as well as comedic. I found a bunch of serious blogs I wrote in 2015 & never posted, and guess what?

I should’ve posted them. I always chickened out & posted some creative writing instead. Because I thought that’s all you wanted. But I know you need the serious stuff too. You’re hungry for it.

And I don’t mind regurgitating it right into your eyeball sockets.





Sunday, March 12, 2017

The Sunday Morning Funnies Just Landed On Your Doorstep

FRIENDS & ENTROPIES,

I really don’t care who you are, just listen to my protracted demagogic blog-personality voice:

I am a hypersensitive WATER SIGN so I will get all emotional here in the Octopus Diary. It’s okay, you can handle it, I think. I like to think you all understand where I’m coming from when I share my thoughts & words w/ you. But I know that’s an unrealistic expectation, and that some people just won’t understand, don’t have the Iron Age tools of understanding.

At their direct disposal (crematory of consciousness) garbolic sanitation demolition project. Hero.

HELLO

Let me start again by saying: I know I got all emotional and sassy and made broad sweeping generalizations which are a NO in this hyper-woke post-Aquarian tectonic New World Disorder shift of consciousness Age.

And like I said, that’s going to keep happening. In my proven empirical fact-checked zodiac chart there is only: WATER & FIRE.

Zero zilch nada EARTH or AIR.

So, with me you’ll get a lot of this: EMOTIONAL/INTUITIVE/PASSIONATE

And none of this: COOL/CALM/COLLECTED

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen.

Since I got all emotional on you last time, I was actually going to do something a fair & logical AIR SIGN would do:

Write an Adventure in Reality

And, friends, I did start writing an adventure. But then I did something I’ve never done before—I bailed on it! I got halfway into it (or more, 2/3 maybe) and I said ‘I can’t do it anymore!’

The Adventure was, in a nut shell, the tale of Trump & Putin’s romance leading to WW3. It was plenty ridiculous & action packed, but…I just didn’t find it funny. It’s hard for me to joke about all this. Putin is a really scary guy (even though he looks just like my step dad). 

And though Trump will always be a bozo, his henchmen are like sentient fungi come to life, spreading grayly w/ broken capillaries all over my comfort zone.  

I joked & satirized & surrealized & subverted myself all through the Bush years, because I had a firm grasp of what those bozos were about to do next. I have no firm grasp on this slippery executive guano…

…my skullbones once fused together so nicely

now pulled apart & struggling to contain all this new shit

It’s a shell game

So many new things to know

It’s not that I thought I was done knowing new things,

but these aren’t new things & I don’t want to know them again

[Yeah, like remember in the 70s & 80s how ugly we were to gay people, minorities, immigrants, fat people? I’m glad I can’t remember any farther back than that… we’ve come forward a little ways, but now we’re lashing back like a whip…snap]

They’ve been trotting out old George Monkey Bush—the enemy-media has. Look at him! Don’t we miss this little eek-eek good-ole boy chimp w/ his acrylic on canvas atonement oeuvre?

HE LOOKS LIKE A BEADY EYED HAMSTER WHOSE CAGE WAS FLUNG OPEN AND ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS SCAMPER TO THE FARTHEST CORNER AND HUNKER DOWN. HE LOOKS LIKE HE HAS BLOOD ON HIS HANDS NO TURPENTINE WILL EVER REMOVE. SHAME ON YOU (and you, Ellen De Generes for having him on your show) GEORGE W. BUSH FOR NOT EVEN BEING A CHIMPANZEE BUT A LESSER DEMON, A TRINKET ON A PUPPET ON A WIRE IN YOUR VICELORD’s ARTIFICIAL HEARTCHAMBER!!

I HAVE NOT FORGIVEN YOU YET. Our common hatred for clowns does not make us friends. And so my enemy, since I can’t make the adventure any less real I share w/ my friends again—


SHELTER CAT & TRUST FUND BABY












Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Shelter Cat & Trust Fund Baby Go For A Walk

HEY GUYS (this includes you too, girls),

Welcome to the Blog everyone pretends they don’t read, even though they do!

Sorry I had to post a long winded, lecturey piece in response to the ignorance I saw online last week. I know it seems like I love doing that, but I don’t. I don’t enjoy repeating myself or explaining WHY it’s okay to be who I am to people who don’t CARE to understand.

But I also can’t stay silent about it. And I don’t have a talk show, so I plop it right down here in the Octofish Chumbarrel. AND YOU FUCKING LOVE IT. Don’t pretend you don’t….

SO, in addendum to my previous rant, I want to say that most of the Trans Folks I know are MILLENNIALS. And millennial trans folks seem to have a much better grasp on their mental health than the trans folks from my [X] generation.

I actually don’t know many trans Gen Xers. [Yay! I’m always alone in whatever demographic I occupy!] But I do know quite a few trans Baby Boomers, whose narratives more closely resemble mine.

There was no trans positivity in the 70s 80s or 90s. We were perverts & sickos & we were to be shoved even further back into the closet than the gays, the minorities, or the fat women.

I know that sounds harsh & very un-PC but this is Trump’s America & I’m getting on board (with certain aspects of it.) Not really, but…. you know…

Anyway—I think my trans millennials would appreciate me vouching for their mental health after I was so brutally honest about my own not-so-great mental health. Every TRANS person has their own narrative, just as every PERSON has theirs.

And I’m actually quite jealous of how trans-positive the millennials are able to be.

I just took my dad’s, my brother’s & society’s misogyny and internalized the FUCK out of it, That was the 70s & 80s for you, and if you were lucky enough to arrive on this planet at a later date—hurray for you!

Don’t judge me for being born too soon (or late?) I can’t decide.

***********STATE OF THE YOU & YAWN***********

I really, really HATE the glorification of war, especially by someone who was never in the military. 

War, patriotism, militarism. Those are not good, positive, heroic things. But here we go, padding the military industrial complex for a round of WW3. 

Also think this V.O.I.C.E. registry is a horrific idea, and reeks of a naziism that’s not-so-subtle.

God help us. And I don’t even believe in God.

ALL RIGHT. That’s enough serious shit for now. Here’s what you’ve been waiting for: 


*******SHELTER CAT & TRUST FUND BABY*********(good luck reading it)











Me being masculine (& old)



















Saturday, February 25, 2017

FOR PIT PAT, SLAIN BY TRANS FRANCES

Hey Girls (this includes you too, guys!)

You’ll be happy to know I’m almost done w/ Shelter Cat & Trust Fund Baby. I had wanted to be done today, but it just wasn’t happening. I’ll give you my laundry list of excuses for the delay later.

I want to address something else today, and that is the sinking feeling I have in my chest cavity every day now. Despite the fact that my life is a slice of peach pie on a gingham joy rag, I feel throughout the day that awful vertigo, that elevator lurch of oncoming dread. And I’m not even on an elevator most of the time.

For awhile, the world seemed to be expanding in its sociological scope and this brought me a peace I hadn’t known before in my life. 

But then the Current Era happened, the New World Order, the Ninth Tentacle, whatever you want to call it… and all the bigots who’d felt obliged to tone down their prejudices during the era of social enlightenment have emerged from their cognitive sinkholes—oh the president says we don’t have to be politickul currekt anymore?? Hallelujah!!! 

Now, I know never to read the “comments thread” on any site, but something rolled by my eyes on Facebook the other day and I had to roll it back and have a closer look. Here is what I found—

******************TRANS FRANCES THE DOLL THAT’S GONNA WARP YOUR KID’S GOD-GIVEN HETERONORMATIVE BIRTHRIGHT INTO A JOHN WATERS MOVIE MARATHON**************************

These comments were in response to an article about a “transgender doll.” I don’t even know if this is a real toy or if it’s just more fake news. I could care less about a “transgender doll”—any doll can be transgender if you want it to be—but perhaps marketing dolls to transgender children is where we’re at now. 

When I was a kid all baby dolls were girls. Then, when I was about 8, they marketed a boy doll (complete with penis!) and that caused all sorts of uproar. How inappropriate! Our neutered little girls should not be exposed to that! 

My only question at the time was, if the boy doll has a penis why do none of my girl dolls have vaginas? [Back in the ’70s vaginas were so taboo we didn’t even speak of them, medically or otherwise. I think that’s how it was so easy to molest girls back then; we couldn’t even say the words.]

But anyway…now we have this “transgender doll” who I’m guessing is genital-free but is dressed as a girl (we can only assume she has a penis under that skirt!) No word on whether they’re working on a FTM doll.

And this is what the Being Conservative flock posted in response:

“This is disturbing to me. Gender identity crisis is a serious disorder that seems to cause people a lot of pain and suffering. I think mainstreaming it is making light of a serious situation and will confuse kids. If a kid has this disorder it will usually be obvious from a young age but making suggestions about it to a child that shows no signs of it prior could lead to a misdiagnosis. Children are so impressionable. I mean should we make an OCD barbie or a depressed barbie or an anorexic barbie? I think children should just be taught to respect everyone even if they are different than them and some people go through tough things, but that doesn't mean we have to explain disorders in depth to children and make toys that have them I think that is going overboard.”

[^^^I like this woman because she is trying to understand. But she’s missing the mark so hard I’ve gotta chime in: Yes children are impressionable, but *not talking* about things often leaves a bigger impression than talking openly about them. I don’t know of any parent who would suggest to their child that they “give trans a try.” But they would say, hey trans children exist. Check them out. Embrace them. And hey, if you ARE trans, that’s okay too!

As for anorexic/OCD/depressed Barbie? Yes, maybe we should have those too! Teenagers deal with anorexia, OCD, depression and other illnesses all the time. Barbie is such a joke of a positive role model they’ve been trying to make her more realistic for decades. I’m sure regular Barbie is responsible for more anorexia than Trans Frances would be responsible for “turning kids trans.” Kids don’t “turn” trans by suggestion. If your child is really trans you will know by how much it distresses them to identify as their “biological sex.”]


“American Girl made a boy doll. Nothing wrong with that at all. But a transgender doll is ridiculous.”

[Nothing wrong with a boy doll as long as it’s just a boy, wearing boy clothes, no penis or anything, just externally a boy-identified doll. Could it possibly be a trans boy then? NO!!!!]


“It's not the doll that is disgusting. It's the indoctrination of kids that is. Leave them alone!”

[I used to think only left wing people believed in conspiracy theories : )) Well, most left wing conspiracies revolve around secret government operations; right wing conspiracies seem to focus on personal agendas. Conservatives generally dislike independent thought. I see the word “indoctrination” used an awful lot these days. Especially by the right. Oh, those liberal cucks are trying to indoctrinate us with all their perversions and inclusions. Isn’t indoctrinating what you do when you bring your child into a church and teach them from an early age all the moralistic bullshit that steers them far away from independent thought?

There are people in my family who have chosen to raise their children like this. And they do it not to protect the children from…what? I’m not sure…perverts?…but to protect themselves from having to deal with stuff that makes them uncomfortable. They don’t want to have to answer the hard questions. Because the hard questions about being human can lead to big questions about God & Jesus. And whether they are real or not.]


“The Devil is the author of confusion. Young minds are being overloaded.”

[Of course I don’t think the author of this comment meant “the devil” metaphorically. Look, it’s even capitalized — The Devil! That devil has been fact-checked and he’s coming to get your kids, meanwhile…

… all the medical/social/mental health research from the scientific community can’t convince you that being transgender is a real phenomenon. i know it seems like the whole phenomenon just came spiraling into your midst with no warning…

…but transgender people have been in your midst for ages. Watching you and your bizarre heteronormative antics. Your binary tragedy. How many times was I told girls don’t this, boys don’t that, men are superior to women but they belong together in holy union, superior & inferior bound together for life, no cheating! Yes, that sounds heavenly. 

Remember, more Conservatives have been caught doing crimes in the bathroom than any transgender person, ever. Because a lot of people who were indoctrinated with scripture from a young age are afraid to confront their own homosexuality and end up doing “perverted” things later, on the sly, in restrooms and motels. Dishonestly. Covertly. 

When someone dares to confront their own gayness or gender identity, it looks like the flaunting of a perversion to the indoctrinated Conservative. 

But golly, I’ve always thought of the church as kind of perverse. Any teaching that excludes women the way religion does reeks of ancient covert pederasty to me.]


“When it comes to brainwashing children, you bet we have a problem. Leave kids alone. You want to be transgender? Have at it. But, that is your problem. Not mine nor societies.”

[Oh, I’m so happy when nasty sentiments like this are misspelled because I get a glimpse of the ignorance behind them.

Man (or lady), no one wants to be transgender. Or at least no one did when it was considered the most laughable of the mental illnesses.

Nowadays, who knows. Maybe some kids DO want to be transgender. I’ve heard the word “transtrendering” which is so hard for me to take—I would be the first to be contemptuous of those who would adopt trans as some kind of fashion statement.

After all the years I hid in my hyper-feminine costume so no one would ever have a clue that i was living in a Twilight Zone episode?? 

But wait—have we come so far that kids…actually…want…to be transgender?? That’s great! Let’s celebrate!

When we celebrate being trans instead of denying it or punishing it, there is no problem! Not for you, not for society!]



“A well thought out comment about the dangers of pushing complex adult issues on children. There is nothing wrong with being transgendered but this doll is just ridiculous.”

{^^^another person who’s trying to understand and be an adult. Still a ways to go…but there is effort in this sentiment. Thank you.]

“I and most of America disagree, there's a whole lot wrong with being transgender.”

[^^^^ there’s a whole lot wrong with being ignorant too. If you haven’t had your eyes open to some of the smart talented transgender folks in the world, please wake up.

It does suck to be born in the wrong body, it hurts to be told that you are sick because you feel bad about the gender you were assigned, it can cause depression, it can make you suicidal, it can get you killed—yes, those are things that are wrong with being transgender.

But by that logic there’s a whole lot wrong with being autistic, or obese, or black, or red-headed, or having phocomelia, or diabetes or a heart murmur. There’s a lot wrong with being human for that matter. We aren’t that great.

But I think when the commenter says I and most of America disagree, I think he means it’s not okay to be transgender because it is perverted. There’s something inherently perverse about it because it has to do with sex/gender.] 

“BS!!! if you have a problem deciding what you are, you need to be in a mental institution period.”

[Transgender isn’t a ‘decision’ one makes. Haven’t we been through this already with homosexuality? Don’t we all get that being gay isn’t a ‘choice’? Well, it’s the same for being transgender, geniuses.

And trust me, I was threatened with mental institutionalization. Oh, and not just threatened with it—I did end up in the hospital after a suicide attempt (I drank Drano and was in the hospital for 2 weeks then I had to go into a mental hospital for another week.) I didn’t drink Drano and get put in the hospital because I was transgender. That all happened because I was NOT ALLOWED TO BE transgender.]

“Yes there is something wrong with being transgender you freaking moron”

[No, there’s something wrong with you ^^^ Plain and simple. Moron.]


“I believe it falls in the category of OCD type of disorders. Many people in the world suffer from some sort of disorder but unless they are trying to harm themselves or someone else due to the disorder putting them in a mental institution is not usually necessary. I mean would you be mean to an anorexic person or an OCD person? I believe gender identity disorder is something similar to that because from a young age the person obsessively believes they are in the wrong body and I have watched documentaries about it where some children have mutilated themselves, which has then presented the need for inpatient care. I think the person is already feeling enough anguish I think it's better to be a little more sensitive. I think (name) is trying to say society shouldn't ostracize people who suffer from disorders not necessarily that there is nothing wrong because if you think you are in the wrong body there is something wrong.”

[^^^This is from the same woman who posted the first comment. I really do appreciate her trying to reason with her sheeple-people, even though she herself doesn’t fully understand. She at least gets that this is a real disorder that needs compassionate care, not judgment and scorn. And that it’s nothing to be AFRAID of, we’re not going to come into your restroom and stick our fingers up your bum or pull your daughter’s innocent face into our forked crotches. We don’t have forked crotches. 

We just have human anatomy. You don’t even have to wonder about it, or ask if we’ve had the surgery. Because it doesn’t matter.] 

“I think we need some custom doll/toy shops where people can get toys tailored to their children. That would be nice so the child dealing with something can be comforted but all the children that aren't, aren't confused by it. Plus it could be something really special between the parents and their child. and not some ploy from the left to indoctrinate children.”  

[Same woman. Nice attempt to compromise with unreasonable folks. But just one more thing:

Being trans is not a left wing ploy. Trans children exist inside Conservative families—I know some of them. That precious little miracle you’re holding might announce they’re trans one day! Trying to get our children to accept those who are different is a progressive social idea, not an evil ploy. It’s called evolving and moving forward. Just because you have chosen to cling to notions that were founded in fear and ignorance doesn’t mean the rest of the world can’t PROGRESS. Forward. Expansion. Inclusion.]

*********************

Me being feminine

Well, that was a lot of heavy shit. That’s okay, it needs to be said. When I was reading all this the first time around, my instinct was to jump in and attack everyone’s ignorance.

But I wanted to look at these comments again. Quietly, alone. I want to understand those who don’t understand me. 

I understand how questioning one’s gender identity could be confusing. Could make people uncomfortable—it is a big concept to grasp! But I’ll never understand religious, moral objections to social, scientific or medical progress. 

And now, we are entering what looks like a Dark Age. A time of moralistic oppression, separatism, “law” & “order”(aka dismantling and disorder). It is scary for me. I’ve just begun to unravel from my oppressive cocoon and I’m fighting the urge to ravel myself back in.


I know the people in this comment thread would love it if I did. And so I can’t.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

A Comet & An Eclipse Walk Into A Bar...

OH HELLO FRIENDS,

It’s that time again—time to check in at the Octopus Front Desk Diary to let you know how I’m surviving the current era.

By staying really really busy, that’s for sure! You all know I love my solitude & my downtime (and I still do of course) but I feel compelled to stay connected, aware & active these days. So that’s what I (& Moonface) have been doing. We get out more. We’re rerouting our neural pathways to be more engaged with an external world we’ve shunned for over a decade.

It’s hard work, but it needs to be done. 

Also been working hard on creative projects like the long-awaited

*****SHELTER CAT & TRUST FUND BABY**********

Friends, I have an exciting announcement: I’ve finished pencilling the first episode of SC & TFB! And pardon me if I say—it’s ALL RIGHT. I do comics the old fashioned way—pencil first, inks & colors later. None of this electronic shit where the computer helps you draw & color your shit. I don’t even understand that. And no disrespect to those who do their comics that way…I just…don’t understand.

It doesn’t mean I don’t admire people whose style differs from mine—quite the contrary. But I like the act of story-building panel by panel. Figuring out which actions & dialogues will go together, what shape the panels will take, how it will all flow. I’ve been “insulted” many times by people who consider themselves to be FINE artists—“your art is JUST cartoony stuff.” 

And to them I say—there’s more to comic illustration than just doodling stick figures. But I understand that their haughtiness comes from…not understanding.

Anyway… I’m not even a good illustrator, but I enjoy doing it (sort of) and it adds color & pizzazz to this otherwise grey & peach blog.



******MY TECHNOLOGY IS DEADNAMING ME*********

Friends, last year I spent money and time filling out stacks and stacks of paperwork & then I entered a courtroom and stood before a judge and pleaded to have my name changed,

and the judge granted me that wish. And I was happy & I announced it on Facebook & everyone hit LIKE and all was well. 

But then, friends, my computer started asking me to update its operating system. Please, it said, update me soon or things might start going wrong. And I ignored my computer’s requests because, honestly, it seemed to be working fine. But then it started threatening me—if you don’t update me I will no longer “support your applications.” 

And my computer even crashed a few times because I didn’t answer its pleas for an update. I hate updating my computer because “updates” are usually “downgrades.” They fuck everything up and I have to go in & relearn all the shit I took so long to learn in the first place.

So one of my New Years resolutions was to update my computer. It was a big deal because I hadn’t done it in 5 years & I had to do some intermediate updates & I was on the phone with tech support for several hours. Which I hate. Phones, technology, talking to strangers, yuck.

But I got it done. With only minor hiccups [boy do I hate what Apple has done with their Photos!!]

The only thing is—now all my “communications” are blatantly, loudly marked & monogrammed with my DEAD name!!

All my emails & FB comments & perhaps even somewhere in this blog my computer is deadnaming me so disrespectfully. 

That atrocious name I wore like a slutty Halloween costume for the first 45 years of my life has risen from the dead! And I don’t know why, because all my email & FB settings are on my new, LEGAL name. 

That means it is embedded somewhere deep inside my technology and I will have to coax it out and stab it in the heart. I’m afraid this is going to be another “dangerous process’ like upgrading. I’ve already looked into how to do it & it’s one of those things that risks destroying all your files, or at least your access to them.

YAY!!!!!!




***************EPIC OR NOT??**********

Friends, I was actually going to share my latest long-winded verbose unconcise non-economic poem with you, but I’ve gone on & on about comics & technology downgrades

SO…I’m deciding…right now…out loud, on the page…do i want to share the poem today? Because next time I’m sharing comics…

So, yes, POEM TODAY!! You’re welcome…

First though, I have to bring up this one thing. It’s really important so pay close attention: 

FLANNEL, people, IT’S NOT JUST FOR LESBIANS.

In fact, most of the lesbians I know wear T-shirts and cargo shorts. OR long, flowy dresses (yeah, lots of lesbians are feminine). Or tank tops. Lots of tank tops. But not a lot of flannel.

HELL & DAMNATION & SULFUR FUMES & BRIMSTONE & TREACLE! Kurt Cobain didn’t even wear much flannel. He wore fuzzy cardigans & striped T’s.

But me, I’ve been grunge since 1989 and I’m not going to change my comfort-first flannel-flying ways just because of this persistent Lez-Lez Bean stereotype I keep hearing about. Shut up and look around you—

—even lumberjacks don’t wear flannel anymore. There’s nothing to stereotype here, move along.

And in case you’re wondering my flannel affinity came from being a homeless drunk person. Flannel was my couch-to-day look, my sleepless night uniform, my hangover woobie, my outdoor pajamas. Nothing less.

Haha! i’m glad I got to rant about that. Now here’s a poem as long as The Iliad that you will skim over for 2 minutes but never read all the way through, then reread to make sure you got it all…

13 mos on T


***********TREMENDOUS GIBBERISH**********************

This File Is Currently Empty, all wispy & appropriate

Would I advise any species to trace
Its anger back to its origins? Octopus, jellyfish,
Seahorse in prickly skin?
It's not for the feint invertebrate
The Social Networking Sickness of 2014
Tallest wave of sensitive geniuses under the spell of internet sorcery
There will be many more ’15 ’16 ’17

Profane & volcane! The big Facebook serpent quo
All the harlequin pretext covering
Footsteps;

A Litany of Tentacles—
1. Family
2. The Government
3. Gender/Sex
4. Science
5. Humanities
6. Friends
7. Enemies
8. The Higher Powers

And now 9. The New World Order

All hints of 33rd degree masonry once leaking through
The seams of architecture now smeared with stucco, Chinese drywall approved by Trumpo 

I am the most special spectral agent forced to spy on our own hot dog flavored corpses
I vote for your sainthood w/ a boogery finger swiping right 
Artificial lifeline swooping too perfectly
Over radial artery—that's how saints get elected!

St. President  please polish the whole internet w/ Q-tips before proceeding to friend me on Birdbook because friend is not a verb it's an onamotapoeia --the sound of a lone microbe radicalizing—tweet

Is it safe to have everyone's mind wandering all over the sky?

Who's the real Army of Me—
You, the bulbous many-headed? 
The tongue wagging the crowd
Through rumored cattle chutes?
Or the Me you're wagging about?

Tom Robbins said we humans were invented by water as a means of transportation
And as noble as that sounds, I believe we’re actually some kind of data storage unit
Each of us a drone here to collect our lifetime of data &
Return it to the great base in the cosmos
The great meme generator of our time

I think I just plagiarized a bumper sticker

My mother's conditional love lasted til I was 3, my doctor died after he touched me twice (appropriately) Knocked out by
My father before I was one

De-spider Efforts!

I ripened
In her asphyxiating suitcase
So I'll branch out through
Black holes and
Cradle the old lady
Like she's a fresh stardust baby

Dorian Grey days crayoned despondent male 
Alternating happy sad female tear-years
If boys don't cry neither do mermaids, dragons Pokemon & whales
If girls cry then senators astronauts bounty hunters & trolls do too

Never suspecting the other side's green grass was toxic mold

Alone in our human/ant colony’s war/miasma crooked line dance icy whirlpool scorching debriscape  Robot Tea Room

It's too sunny out today  We're leaving rainy season & entering dry, slanted sun season
Cherry-dominant suicide
An ideal spot for a metaphysical reunion
HelterCulture
Victim Culture 
7 of Swords  a journey by land?
Exhibitionist Culture? The Foreseeable Culture Act of 2037.

Geranium Radio Party
Finite Digest  Levity's Rainbow  Uriah's Crib
Does Sophie dream of electric twins?
Unfair in height, five-foot-one
Gun fart, intrusive muse

Skeletons in the closet getting ready for PRIDE

When Amanda Palmer says "You have a dick,
You always win" we know the 4th wave of feminism
Has crashed upon a glass shoreline & imploded
Into all the shards that break us & reshape us

Been there, done better than the ones who never came back
A chain is only as long as a dog's ego

Misery loves Atari
                      Nintendo
                 Second Life
                   Monopoly
                the pharmacy
            the cable company
                 
                     quit it

The posture concave, shoulders parachuting in, head down legs strutting in vain, dragging your heart behind like a bag of blood



Imprints don't just disappear
Scary concrete blockwork
Stare them down w/ your opioid coping sensors
You work hard to ignore them
But that first default moment in the morning?
How fast can you chant, caffeinate, network them away?

Incomplete failure…(excited phosphor dots) Yap Co copay procaine 
Product of iatrogenic labeling —label scars more than the thing it describes—
Opposite of bandAid covering bullethole

My feminine IQ
Wild from tears
A jellyfish memory outlined
Whiskers of DNA--these are my people
But they are the next wave--better at being me
Than I ever was

The planet's collective endocrine system
Finally realizes the perils of overpopulation
More & more young people embracing
My old world androgyny; asex, anti-natalist views
Catching on w/ the new Nationalists

But I want to save the big Earthy testicle not the sticky white human race

Never go to Walmart in January — the most depressing coordinates on the time-space continuum
Why would I from my ivory tooth-like tower?
The world is so unmysterious now
Not just standing naked before us, but spreading
Its buttcheeks
Stunt poetry in action

Bone bunny Man village
Desperate Living Theme Song
Empty zen French dressing?

I love these words for I am their God. Bedlambic pentameter!

Wholesome helpmate, infernal bang theorist
Crack the window w/ my head
If I make it out of the bathroom alive
I promise to piss on the moon

Used to be we spoke up for what we believed
And the gov't would visit things like AIDS and 9/11 upon us
But now that AIDS & 9/11 have happened
Who will dare speak out?
This is what the Illuminazi wanted
33rd degree burn victims Skin canker and a bold chess movie plot
Insert the demagogue dialogue & watch the social experiment
Backfire--it's time to start erasing history by installing new code into the Hardware of familial Zillennials
1 generation gone since 9/11 and all memory has been sanitized by
Angelic heroic patriotic jingo lingo jumble jargon word pardon

You left me alone w/ all that country music!!!

Unfurl your phantom plans!
Holy traffucking! Paranoid MayDay Rave!

Guns are black magic just as much as gibberish is
Vowels are the true music of speech
Verbs are the music of poetry
I use words like numbers, doorless frames
Adoreless fame

I have a blog because I don't have a talk show

We’ve cut the Humanities 
In favor of machinities
And the purple artichoke, impaled
On all the pointed buttery details
We won't tell ourselves, a lame dick joke now

Without blazing hard-on verdict, without sudden wet-fingered synthesis
Senatized counter-attack, playgroundian Intelligence

Hobbies: writing, believing conspiracy theories, reading books, ice skating, doing a radio show, worrying about the karmic price of words sent out over the airwaves  Surely not as heavy as this ink  Or as instant as a full frontal automatic FB assault
(curiosity made the cat vid go viral)
Millions of meek Donalds sold
Virgin uncooked meat

A needle plunges &
Strikes the sidewalk's vein

A lark beneath
The mask of ether
Cries like a streaky pane

She walks onstage 
Like a glaze

1-31-17

***************

Did you make it? Are you okay? 

Lesbians


Well, I’m going to see if I can still post pictures of old art from my new Photo system. Next time I’ll have new art, if I can figure out how to post that…


I love you fuckers.